Real cyclists... according to Google

Real cyclists wear jerseys
Real cyclists ride in the rain
Real cyclists ride in the hills
Real cyclists wear padded shorts
Real cyclists ride touring bikes
Real cyclists never walk anywhere
Real cyclists don't walk up hills
Real cyclists don't wear earphones
Real cyclists don't wear underwear
Real cyclists always pedal down hill
Real cyclists never use the bike path
Real cyclists don't have squeaky chains
Real cyclists don't strap cars to bikes
Real cyclists don't take the winter off
Real cyclists ride their bikes every day
Real cyclists wear caps instead of helmets
Real cyclists always track-stand to the right
Real cyclists don't ride because it's healthy, they ride because they have to

and

Real cyclists don't post threads like this

Bananas

Karl McCracken has a nice post at "Do the right thing" that looks like the start of a series on different kinds of problem driver. He describes what he calls a "junction drifter". Although he handles it in quite a light way, he's touching on some pretty serious behaviour. Junction drifters are dangerous, but rare (at least in my experience), so there is nothing I can add.

However, it gives me an excuse to get something less important off my chest.

It's quite common around here to come across youngsters who like to beep their horn just behind a cyclist in the hope of making them jump. Let's call them beepers in hatchbacks. Unlike the junction drifters the beepers in hatchbacks are not particularly scary, and I don't think they are much of a risk either.

If a four year-old made a funny noise to try and make me jump I hope I would find it amusing. When somebody old enough to hold a driving license does the same thing it's irritating. But my mother tells me that I used to be a small child once myself, and I understand why it is funny to try and make people jump.

On the other hand, as a car passed me the other day somebody threw a banana skin at me out of the passenger window. I don't get where the humour lies in doing that. I see beepers in hatchbacks as immature, thoughtless and irresponsible. Throwing banana skins at cyclists isn't particularly scary, but it strikes me as the behaviour of someone who must be quite disturbed.

Is it Saturday?

Steam Rally

I went to the Stoke Row steam rally this afternoon. I think there was even more on show than usual, the weather was an improvement on my last visit, and I thoroughly enjoyed mooching around.

I mainly went to see the steam engines, but I enjoy the tractors, cars, motor bikes, and so on as well. I have a question though. When did the kinds of car that I used to drive become classics? I learned in a Morris Minor, and they had one of those. The first car I owned was a Mini, and they had one of those. It's probably best not to list the rest.

There was even a Raleigh Chopper on show, which didn't arrive until 1970. By then I had a driving licence, and I thought I was putting cycling behind.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be - but worse - it's starting to overtake me.

1,000 churches

The full size version is here

There are parts of the country that I am unlikely ever to reach in my quest to cycle to some of England's 1,000 best churches. But for the sake of completeness I've been trying to plot the positions of all 1,000.

Above is the map as it currently stands. I can't see a similar list anywhere else (other than in the book itself) so I hope this is of some use to others.

There are bound to be some mistakes, so it's a good idea to check location before heading off for a visit. If you do spot a mistake, please let me know and I'll update it accordingly.

For those who are interested in this stuff, there's also a flickr group - here.

Tenth commandment

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's."

Can we make an exception for Lego printers?

May roundup

Another month has gone by. We are just over 40% of the way through the year, and it's time to assess progress.

The big event of the month was a fabulous week cycling in the West of Scotland. I took the bike on five ferries and a couple of trains but more importantly I rode it for 327 miles. I know that's not a huge distance in a week, but it has helped the numbers along a bit, and after the trip I seem to be a bit better at hills than I was beforehand.

I'm aiming to cycle 3,759 miles in the course of this year. At the start of May I was just on track, having pulled back from a bit of a shortfall at the start of April. At the end of my Scotland trip I was about 200 miles ahead of plan. Things have fallen back a bit in the last couple of weeks because life has been a bit hectic, but I'm still comfortably ahead of plan. The trick in June will be to try and build up a bigger lead again.

At the start of May I also reached the last of the 15 churches that I was trying to cycle to this year. That brings the rolling total to 40 since I started this scheme a couple of years ago. So the plan now is to reach another ten by the end of the year and bring the total to 50. I've been recalculating the distances and as a result I ended up re-organising the list. It turns out that some of the ones I've already reached are further away than some of the ones I haven't. There's quite an interesting mix left to do, including some near central London, which will be a different kind of challenge.

On the Eddington numbers I'm up to 24 for this year, and 45 for all time. Getting to 50 doesn't look too difficult because I've already accumulated quite a few rides in the range between 45 and 50 miles. Getting beyond 50 will be a bit more of a challenge because I haven't done enough rides of more than 50 miles.

I've added a few bits and pieces to OSM, including all but one of the blue plaques in the local area, and a string of about a dozen milestones on the old Bath road. That's may not be as interesting as joining up a few bits and pieces of ferry routes and cycle paths in Scotland - but the local plaques and milestones are a darn sight easier to reach on a short evening or morning ride.

In brief, May went well and I'm getting complacent.